See You Later Blogging…

My wonderful readers,

I guess I’m not really sure how to start this off, or if there is anyone left to read this but here goes.

This post may be one I regret tomorrow, because I’m feeling over emotional and stressed, as well as the fact Zac Efron is serenading me with an emotional HSM ballad, but right now I feel I need to write this. Ever since I started sixth form I neglected this site, which I have worked bloomn’ on this, from improving my writing, so working on the general appearance on this page and I still come back to have a little look, just to check it’s still there. Of course it is, but I’m not which upsets me quite a bit.

I feel I’ve used my work load as a bit of excuse for me not actually doing what I love, because I used to love writing what I wanted to write about, despite what people used to say and joke about which still gets to me months and years later, spending time to take and edit my photos, and then reading comments, feedback, advice. It used to make me so happy, preparing posts, posting and waiting at my computer for my first like or comment. Then I kind of lost it all. I lost my love and motivation and every time I tried to express something within a post, I couldn’t or in my opinion it was shit, and I was shit. I know I’m not the best writer in the world, I know I’m not, but I tried so hard and then it was all gone.

I didn’t want to publish anything anymore because it wasn’t worth your time to read, it wasn’t funny, or witty or informative, it seemed false and was extracted from nothing. I must have about 30 posts written, but couldn’t finish let alone publish them. I guess I felt I needed a break or time out from writing, but then I started school and work got so much, and I took a class that made me loose all my confidence. I still think, ‘how can I be a writer if I’m failing English?’ So all of a sudden what I liked to do became a chore and a huge weight on my shoulders. My boyfriend even got be a journal for Christmas for me to write, but I’m even struggling to write about my personal thoughts.

My blog is not a huge pitty party, and I know some of you will probably be thinking, for god sake get over yourself, and if I’m honest that’s exactly what I’m thinking too. It upsets me that my camera sits in its case, and my blog is silent, and really good outfits and make-up go unappreciated. 😉

Many of my blogging friends, who I am so grateful for, ask me to write again and to you, thank you and I owe you this explanation.

When I find my love and happiness in my writing, and confidence in my ability, I will be back.

But for now this is kind of a, ‘see you later.’ Just for a little while longer anyway.

Love always,

The always over dramatic,

Maisie x